I can’t do this anymore. I can’t sit here and watch a team just self destruct because they have a bunch of bozos on the team. The Los Angeles Lakers have a lot of work to do this off season and it’s not in the gym. They proved that they can compete. They also proved that they can’t close. AND they proved that Andrew Bynum still doesn’t care, Pau really is soft, and Mike Brown got the short end of the stick.

Bynum. If Andrew Bynum even had 10% of the heart, determination, motivation, whatever the damn “it” factor is, that Kobe Bryant has, he would man handle any opponent. He’s huge, lean and extremely agile. He has the ability to master Kareem’s Sky Hook and modernize it to his own. He’s one of those rare players who is the perfect blend of finess and power. But, he just doesn’t care. He reminds me of that one really smart kid you knew in college, but instead of applying himself he spent his parent’s money on pot.

So Bynum, how about you start respecting the fact that you have an opportunity of a lifetime? You play for one of the most respected franchises in the history of the NBA. Act like it. Even Vlade worked twice as hard as you did. How does that make you feel? I mean sure, you’re an NBA player and I work in a cube but I would never want to be you. Not in a million years. You embarrass the class of the sport and the team simply because you can. If you could harness your idiot power for good there would be no question that you’re the best big man in the league. But since you act like Van Wilder, a 7 year freshman, you will always be mediocre at best. Too bad you will never get traded. The Lakers have wasted too much time and money on you that they’ll never get it back. Oh well I guess us fans can hope that one day you wake up and decide to be an adult.

Pau. Well, I’m sorry bud, you’re being traded. We all know this. It’s just unfortunate because you were the Great Spanish Hope. You were for 1.5 years. You really did suck it up in that 7 Game Celtic Series two years ago. Then last year, you let your girlfriend get in your head. So we thought this year you’d be back with chip on your shoulder. No you’re just old, slow and soft. There’s no other explanation. Every year you were consistently criticized for being soft and every year you came back equally soft. So Mitch (if he’s not with Portland) will ship you off to somewhere warm for a back up point guard. Buy a house and retire.

Mike Brown. Talk about a tough spot. Filling in for Phil. But you should have never gotten the job. It belongs to Brian Shaw. Go figure. If I were you I would have never accepted the position, but that just shows I’m as smart as the rest of the country. Hey, no hard feelings. I’m sure the Lakers management will give you another shot. This next year, don’t say stupid things like “Steve Blake is our starter”.

In conclusion, I’m a die hard Laker fan and it broke my heart to see them lose last night. The series should have been 3-1 going into game 5. Stupid mistakes, immaturity, and the lack of determination is why they’re at home like me. So Lakers’ management, if you’re out there, I’m a free agent next year. I’m 6 feet tall, soft, I can make stupid comments, and act like I don’t care for the Veteran’s Minimum.

@rahulrchhabria
@thecouchletes