We don’t feel self-conscious at all. source: warrioris.com
A few weeks ago Kevin let us know his feelings on the Golden State Warriors new t-shirt jerseys. I don’t know if it was just me but I sensed he wasn’t 100% on board with the change. I was ready to play devil’s advocate and give the shirts a chance. They were jarring at first but we can’t let our emotions or resistance to change stifle scientific progress and advancement of the sport. The league would still be dominated by white men in short-shorts if hadn’t been allowed to evolve. I had my rebuttal all worked out. And then I saw the game.
It was a little weird. I’m not going to lie to you. I respect you too much to do that. Even if it means agreeing with Kevin on that note. I don’t think the shirts quite match the pinstriped shorts. It reminds me of the guy in the gym that works out in his street clothes. They also did not start off with the increased explosive power that Rahul tells me his Under Armour t-shirt gives him when he’s skiing. However, where it really counts, the last few minutes of the 4th and in OT, is when the shirts came into play.
But before that I must fully disclose: I was
out drinking meeting with our EIC/co-founders Kevin and Rahul and recorded the Spurs game. My DVR cut out at the end of regulation despite me adding 30min on. So the following in depth professional NBA analysis is based off of my cell phone updates while I was eating at Urban Curry. The Warriors had just gotten an energy surge to make a few crucial 3 pointers and free-throws to keep the game going. Their second wind had kicked in and they were ready to give everything they had to go out on top.
What I think Happened
(I imagine) the Spurs were slowing down and drenched in sweat. Their muscles depleted of electolyte replenishing sports drinks. They had only brought enough for a regulation game. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say. Their muscles started to cramp and their shoulders grew sore and cold as the game went on. The Warriors, though tired, were still dry and warm thanks to moisture-wick™ technology. They surged and played loops around the Spurs like they were the Washington Generals. That’s probably what happened. I waited to see another game to see if my hypothesis held.
Second Impressions. Lets see Those Jersey’s in Action Again
The match-up against the Rockets was for the most part the same. Neither team demonstrated any explosive dominance though David Lee did play pretty well despite his knee injury. I can’t say the jersey had any impact on that. I was hoping to see a 2nd wind in the 4th and for a second it seemed like it was coming. But the momentum really slowed down and Rockets regained their lead and the game fizzled out.
Get it? They look a little bit like Lance Armstrong’s Jerseys. Okay, back to my hard hitting analysis.
Goodell: There’s money to be made with sleeveless QBs.
ADIDAS knows how to make performance gear. I don’t think there’s a mobility or functionality issue but their color palette pattern designers leave a lot to be desired (see below). Sleeves aren’t restricting quarterbacks from launching the pigskin. Which, further-more, also, as well, leads me to the conclusion that Kevin just wishes to see NFL quarterbacks play sleeveless (see above). I cannot see that being a negative if it brings in more female (or male, I mean whatever, lets see all of Kaepernick’s tattoos) viewers.
Is this a Marketing Fad or the Future?
It just looks a little too weird right now to catch on. I can see different teams putting their touches on it. Maybe Oregon will have 200 different versions. We can call it a soft-launch. Loyal fans may pick up a few but Improvements must be made quickly or this will go the way of Crystal Pepsi. The true test is if Jay-Z decides he wants to get on board and launch a version for the Nets. That man has style and knows how to sell water to a guy-or-girl-who-already-has-water. Maybe they’ll up the ante and reveal a black-tie pin-stripe Athletic Performance Tuxedo™ that he and Timberlake can sport at their concerts.
Update: Kevin sent me this NCAA t-shirt press image. I don’t even know what to say…
What the? –
Also Bonus Sleeveless Rodgers.
YOU’RE WELCOME, LADIES.
By Hoa Nguyen. Whose knowledge of sports is mostly informed by video games.
Follow Hoa on Twitter at @hoabert
You can contact Hoa at firstname.lastname@example.org