The Couchletes’ Super Bowl Picks

We’re just two days away from the big game, and while we’ve published some good posts earlier in the week to get ready, we think it’s time to get down to it now. Who do we think will win? We’re going to tell you, at least each of our “experts” individually will.

Alton
49ers, 31-24
“Dual threat Quarterback Colin Kapernick will have a big day through the air and on the ground but workhorse Frank Gore steals the show as the 49ers power over Ray Lewis and an Raven’s elderly defense.”
MVP: Frank “the inconvenient truth” Gore

Hoa
49ers, 31-28
“Both defenses are going to limit the running game, with extra men on Kap. David Akers puts them ahead with a field goal to redeem his roller coaster of a season, but way early in the game cause I don’t think I can handle it if it’s down to the wire and we *ahem* and the Niners maintain their narrow lead to win; and buses will burn in the Mission District.”
MVP: Frank Gore. Michael Oher still known as “dude from that Sandra Bullock movie?” for one more year.

Kevin
Ravens, 27-24
“Given how the Niners secondary has been exposed lately, conventional wisdom would say a Ravens win would mean Joe Flacco tore them apart a bit; however, while Flacco will get his opportunities through the air, the threat of his passing attack will open things up for the Baltimore run game, which leads to my MVP…”
MVP: Ray Rice

Mark
Ravens, 35-17
“The Ravens will have the edge due to their reliance on natural remedies. It will be close for the first half but when Ray Lewis passes out Deer Antler, Unicorn Blood, and Cat Paws during half-time it will give them the boost they need to keep the 49ers explosive offense in check.”
MVP: Blue Ivy Carter has her first nationally-televised performance. It brings down the house when she does a three way mashup of Beyonce’s “Survivior” Jay-Z’s “99 problems” and Dre’s “Bitches Ain’t Shit.”

I also think Joe Flacco will play quite well.

Matt
49ers, 31-24
“Harbaugh the younger and his coordinators craft an offensive game plan that is too much for Flacco, the Ravens and Harbaugh the elder to overcome. 49ers defense gives up a late touchdown to make the final score closer than the game actually was.”
MVP: Kaepernick 275 yards passing, 50 yards rushing 3 total TDs. (And hopefully thanks God during the speech)

Rahul
49ers, 28-24
“Look for the Smith brothers to knock Flacco out of this elite conversation.”
MVP: Colin Kaepernick

Ryan
49ers, 27-17
“The Ravens will be banking on the read option being a main go-to, but Kaepernick is going to pick apart a secondary that’s cheating up with its safties. And when the Ravens are looking pass, Frank Gore is going to run well enough to open up the pass. The name of the game is keeping the Ravens honest and the Niners will do just that in a tight game at the half that they open up in the late third quarter.”
MVP: Colin Kaepernick

So the Niners fans pick the Niners to win and the two non-Niners fans pick the Ravens…